You name it…

You name it we have probably done it the past few weeks.

Blood work- yep did that, during a pandemic, with no restaurants open, masks on, doctors offices closed to outside people. Yep we did it. It wasn’t pretty. I had an almost 16 year old sit on my lap while I covered his eyes all the while he was wearing a mask! But we got through it. Only cost me $10. Well worth it. Should be up to date for another year atleast.

Let’s see what else have we endured. We have endured meltdowns for sure. Personalities coming and going like the wind.

The other day he wanted to watch a TV show(rare that he asks but theres a few he likes) I said ok, I go upstairs and he tells me the show… beyond scared straight. Huh? I wasn’t confused about the show because I know he likes it. I was more confused because over a month ago I set it up on his TV to watch. He watched all the episodes. I said what episode are you on buddy so I can start it. He looks at me and says number 1 I haven’t ever watched it?!?! Well alright then. I set him up and we went about our day.

We are so used to changing of personalities that mainly doesn’t even faze us anymore. But sometimes it catches me off guard. Like with the tv show, or the random middle of the night cleaning of his room(so he’s not a hoarder?!?!)

We have had a few nights of sleep walking, now back when he was little he slept walked every night, as well as night terrors. He occasionally will do it. Not often. But recently he has been, but never leaves his room, but will put towels, or paper sporadically places. Next morning has no idea why its there. Sometimes he even gets very angry.

What else is on our list.. well the normal changing of foods. This is something that is night and day. It can last weeks, sometimes months. But we usually are prepared and equipped mostly….

Well the choice of foods are the basics mostly.. chocolate fudge poptarts, lunch is a bowl of pepperoni and 2 cheesesticks, we have added pizza combos, back on pretzels, and now lays stacks cheddar ones. He threw me off the other day we made breakfast for dinner. I always make more French toast than pancakes because only Rylee eats pancakes. Well i was making his plate and he says I want pancakes, like I always have?!?! This threw me way off. Because he doesn’t ever pick pancakes, let alone plain pancakes..if he eats them its with chocolate chips.. not this time.

Sometimes when personalities change I dont notice them right off until he talks for a few minutes, asks for something off the wall, or until its too late.

The future is unknown at this point, so it doesn’t help. I think it pushes them out even more. School is a big topic everyday.. he doesn’t understand. He wants to know if always have to wear mask, if we are having open house to know where his classes are. These are questions I dont have answers for.

Some people may not agree with the choices of going back to school. I didnt make the choice lightly. He will be going back to blended(in school and remote.) It is what is best for our family, for him. His classes are already small to begin with.

As for now we will face each day like we have been. Somedays there is no answers to the questions. Somedays there are. We will do everyday like we always do.

Find your reason to smile today!

As always

Onward and upward

Winner winner chicken dinner…

Or not..

Let’s say remember that chicken he wanted in the last blog post?!.. well last week I was like ok.. I’ll make it.

All seemed ok at first. Gave him small amount of mashed potatoes and more chicken. Seemed ok.

Then went downhill from there. He hates chicken.. he didnt ask for it.. i wanted him to choke on dry chicken..

Needless to say wasn’t Zeq. His voice was dramatically different. Things escalated from there. Punching the microwave because it was the microwaves fault that the chicken was dry. It was made on the stove.

Threw the plate, not once, not twice but three times. Each time in between he picked up the chicken and put it back on the plate. So deep down believe it was more than one personality. One being mad.. then the ocd clean one and so on.

This went on for over an hour. He then comes down and get tea, he starts crying saying was sorry.

Definitely not new, but that hasn’t happened for a hot minute. But since that day. Foods have changed yet again. He now eats chocolate fudge poptarts. No cookies, but now yellow cupcakes with no icing.

That is how quickly foods change, how quickly dynamic changes. There is no rhyme or rhythm to it. It just happens.

We pick up and go about the day. We clean up food off floors, we dry crying eyes and do our best.

Each day us a new day, nothing is a given. We take it as it comes. We will continue on everyday

We will do as we always do.

Onward and upward

Enter turkey and pepperoni

Just as it says..

We are back to frozen turkey meals… when I say it I mean it. Family size just turkey slices. He eats the entire thing by himself.

Then there’s pepperoni… we no longer eat ham… or biscuits…or saltines but now bowl of pepperoni and doritos for lunch.

I know reading this you probably think I am worse parent ever because that’s what I feed him. Maybe I am. But over last almost 16 years I have learned many things. Many things about him,  about autism, about multiple personalities… if he or they want to eat pepperoni.. you let them.

Because fighting with him about putting it on bread and make a sandwhich is pointless. Just makes sure he has enough to fill him up.

Getting his vegetables a day is hard. But it is hidden in spaghetti sauce which he has always requested to eat. Fruits and grains. He is on apple cinnamon bar kick. It may not be prefect but its as good as we can do.

Different shift in foods has brought the shift in personalities. We have had meltdowns, over honestly i have no idea. A bug came into his room from his cat.. he killed the big but doesnt know where it is..(his words) caused a meltdown.. and I dont know that there was even a bug. Because Zeq puts gloves on, wraps it in a tissue, and puts outside if he kills a bug.

Sleep walking and talking is occurring. All these things aren’t new. But just haven’t been around for a minute. So it is readjusting to them really. One day he will ask for coffee.. the next day I make some to have ready and he looks at me like I’m crazy. We usually can prepare easily.  But its really just figuring out who is here on what we need.

The other day he came down steps and wanted popcorn chicken…and has never said another word about it since.

The world is uncharted waters for everyone. But imagine being like Zeq. The unpredictable outside world effecting your inside world. Not knowing answers. Unsure about future. Whether it be school, or going to store without a mask, eating at your favorite pizza place. Its hard for everyone. But I believe it is so much harder on the kids who don’t understand.

Maybe for just today give a minute of your thoughts to those who don’t understand.

We will do as we always do, go buy more pepperoni and doritos 😉

As always.

Onward and upward