Big personalities, small boy

No blog last night. We had weekend filled with birthday activities.

Past few days he has been up and down. One minute fine the next not so much. This small boy has so many personalities in his being. I feel bad for him. I look for ways to help him. The reality our reality is I can’t do anything more than I already am. I can educate myself, I can support him, and I can teach others who are living the same life and have no guidance. But there is nothing I can do to take it away for him.

So we embrace it. Good, bad and ugly. All the personalities have came in the last two days. Some staying few minutes to an hour. He has been sad, angry, happy, excited. You name it. But we manage the best we can. He got to see sweetie pie today so he was super excited. To tell her and pap pap all about monitors and computers.

He is mad because there is an early dismissal tomorrow so he doesnt understand why he has to go to school. Then on top of that he doesnt know why he cant stay at sweetie pies, and then.. he has blood work this week so I am sure it will be an interesting week. Also… we have an iep meeting this week which I am sure and know it will be eventful.

But on other note. Last two days our elves brought pop balloons, color pages, and canvas. The return on snack treats has came.

Tomorrow is a new day hopefully a little less eventful for him. I am thankful he got to see his sweetie pie, I smiled at the millionth time of hearing about these computers. As always we continue to write our story in hopes of helping one person.

As we always say

Onward and upward

Bridges, letgo, word searches.

Today after school Zeq talked about a mile a mintue about getting new monitors next week. He may need a box because there is going to be lots of stuff. He wants to set up a letgo account so he can start selling some stuff. He is determined for sure.

He also has been helping a class build bridges for the bike trails, he is excited for us to see. He needed gloves, so got him some you would have thought he won the lotto. We were going to look at the bridges today but it was raining. So we assured him we would monday after school. He was pleased with that.

This evening he has been more quiet than he was after school. Johnny, John and Jeffrey all showed up. Not staying long. In the car Jeffrey was there and when I ask Zeq something he replied doesnt Zeq have one of those. So knowing all well it wasnt Zeq. They came and went like any other day.

Tonight the elves brought word searches. Zeq likes to do those. He also ask if we could have a Easter snack during projects. Well sure we can. That will probably start tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be here sooner than later. What you make of it is all that matters.

Today I smiled at him being so determined. I was thankful as well for his determination. As we always do we wrote our story.

As always

Onward and upward

Back fast forward…

Do you know what back fast forward is?!?! I didnt until today. So after getting Zeq today from school he began telling me about maybe possibly getting another monitor from school. Well in turn telling me they had a power button, up, down, fast forward, and then a back fast forward.. ummm.. took me a minute. But it was a button to make it go into reverse. But forever more now I will call it back fast forward because it is way cooler than reverse. So now the world will know it is back fast forward.

No talk of starvation today which is a huge plus. He has talked a mile a minute this afternoon. Mainly about these monitors. He will tell me about them then a few minutes later tell me the same story as if he hadn’t just told me. So I have heard the same story around 100 times today. Which is ok with me. He also talked about selling some things on letgo so he can make money for a new computer. So we will soon set up a letgo.

Johnny and John came for their normal visits most times not long and didnt bother anyone. Did their thing and then gone again.

Tonight the elves brought coloring pages and foam chicks. He saved his chicks for decorating his bedroom. He colored his page, and we had stampers which were a huge hit for him. He is counting down day til the break in school.

I laughed today at back fast forward, I was thankful he wasnt starving today. As always we continue to write our story. Tomorrow is a new day with all new adventures to come. So we will see what they bring.

As always

Onward and upward

Matching…

Tonight the project was games.. matching and memory.. let me tell you Zeq hates games in general… but he loves memory. Could play game after game of it. Win or lose he doesnt care. We played a few rounds.

Today after school he was excited to tell us he saw a musket and throwing axe at school. He said he took pictures but he hasnt shown us yet. After the excitement wore off.. john came for the rest of the ride home. He was hungry (he was picked up early and as lunch was ending) so he had just ate. I ask if he had finished his lunch.. he said yes. But said he was going to get seconds? Seconds of what? He takes his lunch… so I ask how does he get seconds. Well apparently the 8th graders get a chance at what is left over because they are the last lunch of the day. Mind you this is the kid who has ate 1 school lunch his entire life and it was in pre-K.

Then John proceeds to tell me I the best mom in the world(sarcastically) and that I am just going to starve him. Still in the car mind you. He tells me he wants a bag of doritos. He as well tells me he is dying from starvation….. (you had to be there to visually see) coughs a few times and lays his head down.

Ok I have had this same scenario in my life for 14 years…. so he does this lays his head down and is silent. I say.. did you die.. without opening his eyes says no. So goes back to telling me how great of a mom I am, and how when Rylee and Hayden are in 8th grade they will get seconds, but not him. So years from now it will not be fair to him.

So you know this was all the way home from school. Get home finally. Minutes were given the whole speel. Rylee drops her book and she says Zeq dont move for a second so I can get my book. She gets her book, all well right? Well you would think. But now…. he wont move!! At all. Begins screaming i cant move because Rylee told me not too. A.. when have you ever listened to you sister?.. and then B.. your not hungry anymore?? Or are you??

Finally out of the car, in the house whew… and then Zeq is finally back. Not a word about hunger, not a word about about starvation nothing. Puts down his stuff and asks if can have a drink. Then goes about his day.

Not a word ever again today about doritos or anything.

That’s our day.. in a nut shell every day. We could choose to lock ourselves away in the house. We could choose to cry. But I choose to shake my head and laugh. He didnt choose this way of living and he cant change it. He knows no different.

Today I laughed at John telling me he was dying of starvation and closing his eyes. I was thankful that he didnt hurt anything while being John. We wrote our story, no matter how ungraceful we are. Tomorrow will be here before you know it.

As always

Onward and upward

Beach ornaments

Tonight these crazy Easter elves brought wooden beach ornaments for us to decorate.

Zeq came home from school talking about what he gets to do tomorrow. Tomorrow the 8th graders dont have to have class because they are setting up an exhibit with fossils and other stuff. He is most excited about the fossils. He has randomly talked about it off and on this evening.

Johnny has came a few times this afternoon, while in the car he randomly began singing and rocking back and forth. He didnt stay long. John came this afternoon and decided Zeqs room needed cleaned now. He brought down the bottles and used his handy dandy vacuum. He was grumbly but nothing major.

Zeq had random conversations about rebuilding computer towers to sell. He is now saving up money to buy a computer bundle. It is 130. So he has decided he wants to sell some of the treasures he has found at school. The DVD player, vcr, some speakers, and two towers. Possibly a monitor. Hes not sure about that one yet though.

The randomness that goes through his brain everyday, makes me laugh, and most time shake my head.

Tomorrow we will learn all about fossils I’m sure.

But as for today I laughed at his decision to sell things(because as I type he is trying things out) i am thankful he or John decided to clean his room. As we always do we wrote our story and will continue to do so.

As always until tomorrow

Onward and upward

When in doubt.. color..

The Easter extravaganza that the elves brought continued tonight with coloring pages. On normal days Zeq is not found of anything to do remotely with writing or coloring. But he gets into these projects.

Little fact about us.. we absolutely love Easter. Everything about it. We every year fill outrageous amounts of plastic eggs. One day in hopes of having a the biggest and baddest egg hunt ever. Zeq does believe in the Easter bunny, and ofcourse looks forward to Easter break.

Today he was very angry at times over nothing visually to us. It was obvious it was John at times. Randomly anger. Then back to normal. Wether being about something about his game. Or just because the door wouldn’t open quick enough. It would come in spurts. Lasting few minutes to half an hour. This time of year just like Christmas becomes iffy. Wether it is the weather, school or the ever changing foods. Today he was convinced I was a horrible person because I wouldnt allow two danishes right before dinner. But then later got marker on his chest and he didn’t blink. Which in it’s own is odd. But hey never said life was easy, just interesting.

The other day while talking randomly to his team at a meeting. It was brought up with all of his personalities… have they ever met just Zeq. Ofcourse I have and everyone close to him has and can definitely tell the difference. But teachers, team, people who know him at stores.. have they. Occasionally they see him in passing of different personalities. Some randomly who see him only once in awhile, I can not promise you that you have. You may have met John when he seems mad or in meltdown. Maybe you met Johnny who is overly excited to buy a pack of paper clips. All are very noticable. You know who is my favorite?!?! Zeq just Zeq!! I will always be his biggest fan. He is my hero.

Today we were thankful for the time to sit down and do a project together. No somedays are rushed, sports, homework, drs. But if you dont make the time, you will never have the time. Life will pass you by completely. I smiled at him searching for his phone, only to forget he took it upstairs (or maybe John took it there) we wrote our story, we are sharing our story.

It is never to late to write yours, our story is not over and neither should yours be.

Tomorrow will be here, before you know it.

As always

Onward and upward

Happy spring!

Today didn’t bring on full conversations between personalities. But it did bring the elves back! They brought their totes of goodies and a letter. Zeq got to go first. His mouth was wide open when he saw them. He discovered them when he was doing his chore.. well rylee found first when she opened the door for him.

Today he has been pretty quiet for the most part. Johnny has came a few times, triggered by “mommy kitty” mainly. John has been a regular accurance today, very angry and lord only knows why. Sunday is the least favorite day of the week for Zeq. He cant stay up, he has school tomorrow. You know the normal for our house.

So the elves this evening gave a happy distraction from the mundane of sundays.

Today I was thankful for warmer weather, as well as the personalities not talking to each other. I smiled at Zeq getting to get the elves. As always just as yesterday we wrote our story.

Tomorrow will bring on all the mondayness…

Until then as always

Onward and upward

When personalities conversate…

So as all of you know life at our house is never dull. We have had personalities come and go for years now. I have personally had many conversations with all of them at some point in my day.

Well today was a new day. So Zeq has had many conversations with himself. Nothing out of the normal. But they have always been one sided. He would talk to himself and that was it. Well today he came down stairs asking about a game. Helped him find it and he went about his day. Few minutes later I hear him talking. Didnt think anything about it. I thought maybe he was talking to one of his gaming friends. Well he was not. You see this game was not working apparently. So he was stating how it was not scratched and should be working fine. Well then John’s voice came. Clear as day he was telling I assume Zeq “of course I tried that what do you think I am stupid?” Then Zeqs voice said something, but I was already walking upstairs to remind Zeq we dont use words like stupid. Well I enter his room, thinking all well I am going to find him playing his game, talking to his online buddy.

Well that’s not what I found. I open door, no game on, no headset on, nothing. I was greeted with a “what” well ok then. I say Zeq we don’t say words like stupid.. he just looks at me. So at this point knowing all well who’s there. I say John.. yep that got a reaction kind of a disbelief one but a reaction non the less. I again state we do not say the word stupid. He nodded his head and I left the room. Minutes later Zeq comes down stairs for tea I ask him about his game. He has no idea what I am talking about.

New experience to say the least. Like I said we have many times talked to and witnessed personalities. But this is a first to see them interact with him. So something new.

You know I write this blog. I do try to write about the fun stuff. The projects we do. So there are sometimes I do go days upon days when he is having bad days that I choose not to write. I do this thinking not everyone wants to know. But it defeats my purpose in getting his story out. It defeats the purpose of maybe one day being able to help someone, and teach something.

Today I learned something new for sure. Wasnt the coolest thing ever but something new either way.

Today I smiled at being able to learn something, I was thankful to get to witness it(may seem odd to some, but at least i was here for him and he wasnt in a facility) and ofcourse we wrote our story.

Big things coming tomorrow. Elves will once again bring the basket of goodies and shenanigans. Count down to Easter will begin.

Until then as always

Onward and upward

Vacuums, staplers, game caves…

Yep all of the above plus more.

Haven’t blogged in a few. It’s not that nothing extraordinary has happened.. or that it was so boring with nothing to talk about. But more of its never a dull moment here in this house.

We have had strikes. We have had snow days. We have had game caves built. We have had hand held vacuums bought. We have had personalities galore. We have had randomness brought home in the form of baggies of parts, staplers, highlighters, and sharpies. We have had OCD cleanings.

What we havent had…. well not much and definitely not a dull moment.

So as everyone already knows he saved his money and purchased his tv. Which he is over the moon about. We have recently rearranged his bedroom, hooked up all his TVs, systems, laptops, lamps, and all his other things.(picture attached)

As well he saved his chore money and monthly money and was able to purchase his handy dandy hand vaccum that recharges. It is red and he loves it. He uses it faithfully and very often.

Throughout the last week and half from school he has brought home baggies of computer parts. This weekend he wants to try and take apart one of his many towers that he has brought home so that is what we will do.

Today from school he came home with 2 staplers.. staplers you ask… yep staplers. His social skills teachers had two staplers that were jammed. So he went to throw them away and Zeq ask if he could have them. He said yes but warned him that they may not be able to be fixed. Zeq took the challenge and he got both of them unjammed. He was so happy and excited by this. He talked about them the whole way home.

It is the littlest things in this world that make someone’s days.

Our days have been filled with personalities that have came fast and lasted longer than the norm. The last few days have been filled with OCD cleanings. Off and on. It has been John tidying up. It comes out of the blue but is much needed to John. I don’t know why? But as soon as John does what he feels is needed it goes away. Zeq picks up his game and continues as nothing ever happened. We can only assume that it is from all the things happening around him. It doesnt help that the time has changed. I know an hour seems like nothing to most. But to someone like Zeq it is why is it so dark when going to school. What time is it over and over. Because it doesnt register to him.

Another happening in our home that is unbeknownst to him is that we have been working on our “spring surprise” from the elves. In the next few days it will arrive. It takes a lot of preparation in doing so. Have to count, bag, recount, make a list, number them, and then plan the arrival. So be on the lookout because it will be coming.

Even though the last few weeks have been sporadic and hectic we have gotten through our days the way we always do. The best that we can. We have been thankful for vacuums, staplers, and warmer weather. I laugh every hour when I hear the vaccum start up. As always we continue this adventure we call life.

But stayed tuned for projects, personalities, and much more of us. Our story will never be over.

As always

Onward and upward