Tonight the elves brought reindeer necklaces for us to make. Along with advent, Zeq built a car this evening. We had soft gingerbread cookies, which he is saving for later..
The normal conversation during the project… how many days til christmas?!?! While doing his advent calander he had an epiphany.. he said I know why we are doing advent calanders, because it is a countdown to Christmas. We had this conversation last night, but it wasnt Zeq the whole time, so tonight it was if we were having the conversation for the first time.
That’s our reality.. you can be having a conversation and two minutes minutes later having no clue we even spoke. So it is difficult to know what is being retained and by who. Even when it is rules, or tasks that are our everyday life. If it is not Zeq than that personality may not know the rules, or maybe they dont but choose not to go by them. Especially when it is an older personality having someone who is not their mom, or someone younger telling them what to do.
These are our everyday questions that we ask ourselves. Sometimes he gets confused on why he has minutes. Other times he knows why. But the next day no matter who it is.. it is a 50/50 shot if it is remembered. Chances are good that he does not.
If Zeq doesnt use something everyday he forget how. Like using scissors.. he is 14 and it is a very rough time.. because he doesnt do it all the time.. but also he cant practice on his own because he cant use scissors without an adult present at all times. Not because we cant trust him, but because Drs say it isnt safe. Personalities come and go often without a trigger or reason. So it is a catch 22 in a sense.
Everyone fails to realize how good they have it. Oh a bag needs open, oh string needs trimmed, he cant just grab a pair of scissors and do it. He has to bring it to someone and then wait for them. He doesnt know any different. But we do. It does make your heart sad. Because at the end of the day he is going to school and being forced to learn geometry and all about human cells, and hes not even allowed to use scissors. But forcing him to learn things that he will never in his life use. But failing to teach him how to live life.. failing to give him the life skills that will be vital for him to continue to live the life he can. I believe schooling should be different. Not saying change school all together but to give the disabled kids a chance at a life after school. Because you have to send your kids to school it is not an option, but why?!?! Because everything you are teaching Zeq he wont be able to use it, and that’s even if he remembers what you taught him at the end of the week.
Its the little things, like using scissors that some take for granted. Its little reminders like asking everyday how many days til Christmas. The littlest things in the end make the biggest impact on someone. I think we tend to forget those, with our busy lifes. Slow down, take an extra minute, do a project. Enjoy the small victories in the day. Find something to be thankful for, find a reason to smile, and to give someone else a reason to smile.
Tomorrows a new day! Remember everyday there is a reason to be thankful. Write your own adventure.
Until tomorrow as always
Onward and upward