Stockings

Day 13 the elves brought felt stockings project. This one was new and fun. A huge bag of candy for the treat.

The end of break is nearing, which brings up the constant question each day… what day is it??!! I tell him he says yay. It is the new normal banter we have everyday this week. Tomorrow he will stress a little more about it, and Sunday he will become angry. Because that’s how it works. It is the same year after year. We are used to it, it never detours off path. We handle it as it comes.

It not necessarily the unknown this time, but the known. Most days he fears things because he doesnt know about it. Whether it is what it tastes like, what will happen if he does it, what will happen if he doesn’t do it. With all the choices, it never ends nicely. Because choices for Zeq are not a good thing, it makes a good situation bad, it makes a bad situation even worse. He will choose something, then instantly it is like his brain or other personalities have a battle inside his head, then he second and third guesses. Until a meltdown ensues. By that time the choice itself is irrelevant.

Imagine every day living in fear. Fear of unknown, the not knowing. Fear of the known and knowing the outcome and hating that outcome. It takes a toll on Zeq he exhausts himself. Personalities do not like his choose so they make it known, and they in turn exhaust him. Each day is a cycle. How well the cycle turns revolve on what we choose for him.. that’s a tall order because sometimes you just dont know what would be best. Sometimes it works out sometimes we dont have the happy ending. But either way we make it through the day. Exhausted or not. Tomorrow will come and go whether or not we are ready for it.

But will we do as we always do

Onward and upward

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