Shadow man…

The next personality or alter that visits… this one has no name. He never speaks to anyone who is present. He does speak just not to anyone you can see.

He is our shadow guy.. we believe he is a soldier of some sort. He is in the army. When he talks to whomever he sees he calls them private. He will do this even if he is right beside you or if you are in the same room. As if you aren’t even there. He will look in your direction but it’s as if your invisible. When looking at you he is giving a command or showing someone where something is.

This alter is no harm at all. Does not hit, scream, destroy anything.

He is very noticable. When he comes, he always goes outside of Zeqs room. Always has a gun and always is around a corner, crouched down eyeing something in his scoop sort of hidden like. Well as hidden as you can be in a hallway. He has a lower voice, very mature, as if he is really in the army. He always holds up his walkie talkie(nothing is there) and talks to whoever is on the other end. Which we assume is his private. He makes noises of the incoming helicopters. Uses commands as if he was really there. He speaks sternly and waits for an answer. Assuming he gets on because then he gives his commands and continues on with his mission.

He uses technical words from the army. He will state where he is with coordinates,what he is supposed to do, where is to go(23 clicks over the south ridge) He will tell you different types of weapons, ammo, materials, planes, jets. All by their specific name. I have looked some of these up over time. They really are what he is describing.

Growing up we all assumed it was pretend play. Just a game to Zeq. As he has gotten older, we became well aware that it is in fact not pretend play after all.

I am not saying Zequal wouldnt know these things that he is saying. But the reality of him knowing all the terminology of the army is a bit of a stretch. The same exact scenario plays out everytime this personality comes. It’s not as if everytime he has a gun he is playing war with himself. But it is exactly the same words, sequences all of it. His partner always gets hurt, and he tells him he needs to hang on until the chopper comes. He wont leave his man behind. Then he cover fires and stays safe until. Always communicating with whomever is on the other end of the walkie. Asking for the back up, even telling whoever’s hurt the helicopter is almost here.. then makes the helicopter noise. Sometimes if you dont see it you look around because it does sound like it.

This alter has been around the longest. As far back as I can remember. He comes and goes. Sometimes a few times a week, sometimes we dont see him for a few weeks. Theres no interaction with this one. The other two kids can walk through the hallway right and front of him and he does not flinch or take focus away from whatever he is doing.

Zeq wont hear you call his name. It just stops when it does. He can be laying on the ground making his noises, or talking to whoever on the walkie talkie, then all the sudden stand up go in his room and play his game. Talking in his normal voice, as if nothing just happened. Sometimes it is 20 mins, sometimes upward of an hour. We know with this alter that it just has to run its course.

He doesnt and has never hurt anyone. He has came out when we have been in stores. Out of all of them he is the easiest to be ok with. No name, just a soldier during their job, then like a light switch or a door opening and shutting, Zeq is back to his normal self.

I cant imagine what it is like to have this happen. But does Zeq even know when they come and go? Do they just come when they want to? Is it something he sees or hears that trigger them. We have no idea. We do know Zeq knows about some of them. They are “the secret friends” he is not supposed to talk about. I have no idea why is not supposed to. That’s all he has ever said. He has told his dr he is not allowed to talk about them. When she ask why he has always stated he is not allowed. We have ask why and he gives us the same answer.

So we may never know.

Our home is always interesting to say the least.

As always

Onward and upward

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