Not for the faint..

This blog isnt going to be for everyone. This is some of the realest you will see. So turn back now, if you dont want to see. If your still curious then strap in..

So everyone always says to me.. oh Zeq couldnt hurt a fly. Well maybe not Zeq but his body, and some of his personalities can. Whether I want to believe it or not, I have no choice. I have been on the receiving end of it for a lot of years now.

They tell me… I get it because I am his safe place. He knows somewhere deep within I will never hurt him. His personalities know that they are safe to unleash havoc. You see meltdowns aren’t always just screaming and crying. Most meltdowns result in a rage of some sort. Sometimes he is on receiving end of his own rage, sometimes it is our property and a lot of time it is me.

At the end of them, he has no clue the wrath that just ensued. He doesnt remember what happened, nor why.. and I don’t have the answers for him. He is exhausted, I’m exhausted and we both look like we have been through war. Sweating, bruised, bleeding messes. If food is involved 9 times out of 10 it is everywhere. If it is property that takes the hit, he could have anything at any given moment everywhere.

Have others seen this rage, sure have. His brothers and sisters have seen so often they are unphased by it. Is that a good thing.. not necessarily but also not a bad thing. They know and somewhat understand. They ask questions and we answer as best as we can.

Zeq himself would never hurt anyone ever. He is kind and compassionate. But his personalities are not the same. Some are not nice kind or compassionate. Some have no empathy. But at the end of the day that is my son in there. No matter how many bumps or bruises I receive when I look at him that’s my son. I know deep down he has no control of these other people.

I wish it was easier on him. I wish things were different. But at end of the day we deal with it the best we can.

Onward and upward.

Few pictures from different meltdowns

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