What you see isn’t always what you get.

First and foremost.. he ate his cereal today!! So a win win not matter what happens the rest of the day.

Now back to it..

Seeing isn’t always believing. What you see isn’t what you get with Zeq. It’s much more complicated and complex when it comes to him. The interworkings of him are just not the same.

You know how many times in the last 13 years we have heard. Well he looks fine. Or that boy is old enough to be cutting grass, or tying his own shoes. Or how about why isn’t he potty trained at age 8?!?! He is too big. Well first off.. no…second off he isnt cutting the grass by himself I’m sure he would be mowing over flowers, his own foot or crying somewhere because he mowed over the flowers. Sure Zeq does look like an average 13 year old. But look a little closer and you would see some differences. Sure he should be able to tie his shoes, keyword should. We have worked on it for years in therapies 3 times a week. With no avail. But you know what.. they makes straps for a reason. No my kid is not lazy. No he is not dumb. He is Zeq!!!

If you see him…pay attention you may learn something. He never gives you direct eye contact, he picks his nails, he sits criss cross applesauce just like he was taught in pre k.

One day in a store that he goes to everyday after school for his snack, he began a meltdown(honey buns had new packages) when he started to meltdown he got loud, he began hitting himself, as well as needing needing to be restrained. Of course people looked… some commented…”if that was my kid I would be ashamed, that boy is old enough to know better and why dont you control your kid and so on. Others just stared.. to point I told them they could watch him all day and he wouldn’t even know they were there.. to the lady who said to control my kid.. I told her if she wanted to help I didnt mind. To the person who said I should be ashamed, I politely commented the only thing I am ashamed of is standing next to a person who was raised in ignorance like herself. To the person who says that boy is old enough.. well sir your an adult who has nothing better to do with your life that stick your nose in other peoples business…shouldnt you be old enough to mind your business?!?

His meltdown that day resulted in restraint I got him outside and calmed down and went up the road and got the “right” honey bun and all was well in his world. He doesnt remember at all. To a point I’m glad he doesnt remember adults!!.yes adults acting like toddlers.

You see with Zeq what you see one minute maybe a toddler, a another minute Zeq, to another an adult, to the next a kid who is so excited to buy a new extension cord or halo guy. What you see is a 13 year old boy. You don’t see his mile long diagnosis pages, you don’t see autism, you dont see different personalities, you dont see the kid who somedays thinks no one likes him. You only see what you want to see at face value.

You dont want to take the time out of busy schedule to meet someone like Zeq. Because you fear what you dont know.

Dont judge a book solely on its cover, because if you do you will miss out on a pretty fun, crazy story. One with chapters full of good times, bad times, and every time in between. Zeq will tell you stories, he will tell you about every gun ever made. He will make you laugh until your stomach hurts.

Every chapter, page of our book you will learn something new. Dont pitty us or our life. We are not ashamed of what we are, how we live, how many meltdowns we have. We take it in stride and we learn something new everyday. But isnt that what life is about? Learning something new everyday? Striving to be best as possible? Learning to teach? Learning to lead not follow?

Well we do just that. We dont form opinions about someone by just seeing them in a store.

So next time you are in store and someone is crying covering their ears, screaming, or rocking themself to get through the checkout line. Maybe just maybe they have something going on that you would have no idea about. They dont need, want or possibly cant understand you opinion.

Change…

I have touched on change a few times, and how things can change in a blink of an eye. Remember how saying he only eats certain foods…. then one day it changes without forewarning without nothing. Well yep it happened. So Zequal has been getting glazed donuts probably 2 months now every morning for breakfast. He makes sure the night before that we have them and we make sure we are properly stocked in them. He usually eats 2/3 a morning.

Well breakfast time this morning. Have his plate and fork ready to go for when he gets up. He comes down stairs takes his medicine and off he goes with his donut. Few minutes later down he comes donut in hand. It tastes bad somethings wrong with it. Mind you nothing infact is wrong with it. His brother and sister both had one and I as well the morning before.

Oh here we go. Something is wrong with them. Its tastes horrible. I cant eat it. Ok what do you want. The infamous question. So infamous when foods change. I dont know, theres nothing I eat now. Well we have tons of breakfast foods Zequal. We have the things you ate the last time before donuts. You name it we have on stand by. Because it usually rotates from strawberry poptarts, cinnamon toast crunch, chocolate chip pancakes, or french toast.. nope..nope..nope..and nope. Ok he settles for a chocolate donut not really by choice but at this point it is almost lunch.

Usually when breakfast changes it it soon after that dinner changes so we may be in for a fun week. Because this week his night time snack has changed. He wants reese cups, and now breakfast. The only constant that never ever changes is what he drinks. It is tea. Always tea never anything more. So at least theres one constant in our home.

So this evening at medicine time, tell him to get a snack. Ask so its ready buddy what do you want for breakfast. I dont know.. of course that’s the answer. So I say you have school tomorrow so we need to pick it tonight like every night. Well what do we have. Go through the list. No no no and more no. He is looking in the pantry says mom can I try these reese puff cereal… mind you he has had several times he likes them.. but open box he takes handful, eats it.. yum yum yum. That’s what he wants. Well I guess I know what I’ll be buying for the next month. Hey atleast he picked. Now if he sticks with it in the morning will be a different story.

That’s how quickly things change in our home. Just yesterday he ate 3 glazed donuts and blue doritos. Today it is all about the reeses. It’s not easy when it changes so quickly. Sometimes it is a disaster and we meltdown for hours because of it, somedays we cry about it, somedays we dont eat because of it, and somedays we have something to fill the void quickly. No matter which way it is we get through it. But change is never easy, and no matter how little of a change it is it never goes unnoticed.

Makes you think though that in our house change is that fast and that important. Act fast and be prepared.

Curse you glazed donuts….