When you bring your new bundle of joy home for the first time. You look at this little human in front of you and instantly your life isn’t about you anymore. You look at this little person and it’s about them.
You find yourself staring at them wondering what they will be when they grow up. You hope they will be happy and healthy. You dream them for them to be the best they can be at whatever they choose to be. You wish for them a life that is fulfilled, full of love, millions of smiles, no heartbreak, no hurt, and no sadness.
As they grow you still look at them and want the same thing. But as they grow and their personalities start to form and shine, you look at them and think to yourself again what will they be when they grow up. This same thing happens every year they grow. As they enter school one of their first questions they answer and draw a picture of is what they will be when they grow up. You get doctors, firemen, police officers.. etc..
As my kids grow I look at them every day and think it often. I think about their futures. I’m not close to perfect by any means. But if one of them want to play basketball.. we play basketball. If its softball or choir. Well we do that too. In our home we have been to cheer practice, we have watched squeaky basketball games, we have been to choir practice, we have done double headers on the baseball field. He have fallen a million times trying to be the next best skateboarder. Is everyday fun with heat, sweating, tired kids. Absolutely not. But if we dont allow them to try they will never know what they want to do.
As years have past. We are older and starting to form the real answer to what we want to be when we get older. We are focusing on making the paths align so we can get there.
Hayden wants to be an engineer or scientist.. mostly because “flash” is. He is only 8 some I am sure his will change as we go on.
Rylee she wants to do anything with fashion and makeup. She has wanted to do this for awhile. She does her hair and make up and picks her clothes and accessories everyday. She comes up with some crazy things but we go with it.
Zequal well he was ask in pre school what do you want to be when you grow up? His answer… tall!! And he drew a picture of a person with long legs. He didnt want to be a doctor or fireman. Just tall.. so simple so innocent.. just tall.
As the years have went on, he has grown.. so he is what he wanted to be. He is tall. His passions have been defined. He loves police. His favorite is the Army. So if you ask him what he wants to do when he grows up. Well he is going to be Army police officer ofcourse.
Which brings me to the reasoning of this blog. When he was born I looked at him and said to myself I will help him do whatever it takes for him to be whatever he wants to be.
But guess what?! I can’t. He doesnt know that. But I can’t . He looks at me and I can do anything. But… I cant.
As you go through life after you have kids.. you know from the beginning you are eventually going to have certain talks with your kids. You know the.. birds and bees, the santa, Easter bunny, the smoking drinking, doing right talks.
Now imagine the talks I have to have one day.. the I’m sorry buddy but you cant join the army. You cant be a police officer, the you will never be able to have a liscense talks on top of all the others. I’m not looking forward to any of them. Because the things you want for your kids as they grow up will never change. You dont want to hurt them or break their hearts. Zequal doesn’t and wont ever understand why he cant be police officer or why cant he fly planes for the army and be able to carry this or that gun.
It’s the sad reality that one day I have to face. I know I get to be the one who tells him. He probably will forget a million times do it will be an ongoing conversation for the rest of our lives. I get to be the one who breaks his heart. I will be the one who will take away his dreams.
But knowing all that.. you know what I see when I look at him, what my hopes dreams wishes are for him?!?!
When I look at him just as I did when I brought him home for the first day. I see a amazing person who is going to do everything he wants to do. He isn’t going to do it my way, or your way. He is going to do it his way.
He is going to teach people. He is going to humble people. He is going to learn and grow. He is going to make people want to be better. He is going make every single person who he meets smile. He is going to continue to be the best friend I have and going to continue to be my hero.
He is going to do amazing things! Just watch and see.