Reality 8/24/18

What is reality?
Have you ever wondered is this real life? Or ever seen the movie inception.. just a dream within a dream and so on. People use the phrase “well that’s reality” or “so and so needs a reality check” but what am I checking? Because my reality and the next persons reality are possibly two different things?!?! Or may not I’m not sure… here is how reality is defined..


the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.
“he refuses to face reality”
synonyms: the real world, real life, actuality; More
the state or quality of having existence or substance.
“youth, when death has no reality”

So by definition no two people can have the same reality per say.

I know Zequals reality is way different than my own.. his reality is no one ever gets hurt.. no cars wreck(because you can pull into a garage and it fixes them) no one dies or goes away(I dont know where they go exactly) the world basically never changes in his reality. He doesnt understand that things cost real money, or people can get hurt and even pass away. In his world if you smile at him that means you are his friend, you can hit him, take his things but if you smile at him he associates that with being nice. He has no social skill cues. He know what happy is(smiling) sad is crying, mad is a mean voice but other than that he doesnt know anything.

He does live in his own world, his own reality. I always want him to live there. A place where he never knows the worst. Because he hears the word “retard” he doesnt know they are making fun of him, or even that it is horrible word. He doesn’t understand that if they take his pencil and throw it that they are doing it to be mean and they aren’t playing a game with him.

He knows that we dont use the word hate.. but not because it is not nice to say, or that it could hurt someone’s feelings. He knows not to say it because he was taught not to say it. Yes I have told him we dont say it, it is not nice,and hurts peoples feelings. But does he know what that even means?

His reality is blissful ignorance.. he is a kid.. he doesnt know any different. This came about because after school he was asking me if when goes to high school does that mean all the middle schools come together. I said yes they are seperated into two highschools.. oh ok he says. He says mom after high school does all those kids go into two colleges? I said you get to choice which college you want to go to depending on what you want to do. He looked at me and began talking..not about schooling but about getting a job to pay for his own pumpkin cookies when he is 18. He continued that he is going to live with me. It made me laugh because all he is worried about is pumpkin cookies.. then he began rambling about a game then his shoe. It also made me sad because this whole time he was using very large words, picking at his fingers, checking to see if seatbelt was on tight.

If you know Zequal you know how he speaks and the pitch of his voice and the words he uses. You would also know he doesnt talk after school except to ask if we are getting a snack. Then he plays his phone and watches his videos. So you know it was one of the many personalities. They come and go lasting few mins to few hours. You can tell by his body language voice and just him. Since school started more often than not.. another one came at dinner time. He walked by me as I was eating.. and stopped looked me dead in the eye(doesnt so) and ask me if he could have some of my porkchop…umm sure sure you can.. ate big bite and said he loved it?!?! What.. ok.. he than ask of I would make him some for dinner tomorrow and walked away. So hour later I ask if he wanted me to make pork chops and mashed potatoes tomorrow night. Zeq was like no!!! I don’t eat that stuff!!! I said ok and walked away.

Which got me thinking. My reality is different than yours, zeqs is different than mine. But do these personalities have their own reality?! Or is it the same as zeqs. The person sitting in the car with me telling me about working. Or the person who put pork in his mouth for the first time ever. I look at him and I see my best friend I see my son. But I know in my heart that that person for whatever brief moment isn’t him and I don’t know what that persons reality is.

Just in generally I know my reality. I know what I need and want out of life to a point. No one ever has anything planned 100% I also know that my reality is to teach zeq how to live life without me one day…not any day soon or ever if I get the choice. But sometimes reality isn’t good or simple. Because in my reality what is going to happen to him if something happens to me.. will he be put in a facility (been there done that) will he be ok?! Who will sit with him and listen to him talk for hours about his game?

Reality is different from person to person. People may have same hopes and dreams. But they will obtain them in their own way. So when you hear someone say that person needs a reality check.. maybe just maybe the person saying it needs the education lesson. Maybe they need to come put zeqs shoes on for a day and live his reality then maybe they would appreciate small things like pumpkin cookies coming back out, or an old worn out ghostbuster shirt. The little things and life can be perfect for someone.

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